Shit Stack

Sanna On Disrupting Everything (A Transcript)

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From one of Sanna’s lives:

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You could walk around disrupting everything, but that’s not a turn on for your High Feminine.

She’s very specific about the things that actually are fun, and high-quality enough, and challenging enough - in other words, a turn on for her - to disrupt.

When you’re just beginning to get access to your High Feminine, it feels very tempting to go around destroying everything and disrupting every discord you see just for the sake of enjoying the freedom that She finally has.

And it IS fun… for a second.

And then it gets boring for you and your High Feminine, so you start getting sharper and narrowing it down.

You start being more precise about what you are available to disrupt, what deserves your genius, and what is just not worth it for your High Feminine.

And most of it is not.

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Thrown Off My Game (An Essay)

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if it didn’t destroy me

if parts of me weren’t forced to die

repeatedly

and quite potently

through the is-ness of he and i

there’d be no pull for me to stay

- not with him -

but with all that arises

through the mutual destruction that our interactions bring

this alone is what interests me

because i’m interested in what disturbs me

and i’m interested in the art of becoming less disturbed

by what throws me off my game

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

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Not Enough Money In The World (An Essay)

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If someone is stuck on their bullshit, I swerve.

I want nothing to do with it.

They can figure that out on their own time.

Not mine.

You couldn’t pay me enough to deal with someone who is not ready to let go of their shit.

Because there’s nothing there for me.

And I could care less if they’re ever ready.

I am absolutely not invested in someone else’s freedom.

At all.

They have to want that for themselves enough to do what needs to be done.

Which means letting go of their crutches and excuses and actually standing on their own.

At that point, we play.

Until then, I’m gone.

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Doing The Blessed Thing (An Essay)

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you would never…

have to talk about your relationship

have issues in your relationship

have to work on your relationship

#workingonitneverworks

if you were both in complete integrity

and fully in your power already

you’d just be in your relationship

doing the blessed thing

the most natural thing in the world

‘problems’ only arise because you haven’t been speaking / living / being truth

you haven’t been taking full responsibility for your side of the court

you have been looking to, and waiting on, the other for something that’s absolutely not theirs to give

and that accumulation of bullshit creates problems

as it should

not because ‘all couples have problems’

but because ‘all people who aren’t living in integrity and look outside of themselves for something / anything - have problems’

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

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Stay With The One Who Activates You (An Essay)

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You will never create something extraordinary with a partner who doesn’t activate your shit and doesn’t have shit that’s activated by being with you.

You can keep running from that reality with each person if you like, or actually stick with one and do the actual work required of you to face and deal with your shit as it comes up until that shit isn’t there anymore.

That way the dynamic reaches its natural and inevitable ‘end’ if it’s not really or no longer IT; not because you felt the need to throw it away prematurely just because you couldn’t handle yours or another’s shit.

I can assure you that whatever work you’re not willing to do with your current beau, you’re gonna have to do with the next one so getting rid of this one won’t ultimately solve a thing.

All of your shit won’t magically disappear.

And fair if you just want to ride solo for however long and not deal with another while you sort yourself out, or even just enjoy some superficial interactions that are less intense and activating along the way.

But it’s one thing to choose that for yourself because it’s true, and it’s another thing to avoid doing the real work with that choice.

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Two For One (An Essay)

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I had a call with a hottie who I soon realized was nowhere close to being ready for a call with me.

She was committed to her stories.

She didn’t actually want to be free.

So I interrupted her mental masturbation by letting her know this isn’t the work I do and I ended the Zoom call.

She called me on Messenger a moment later.

And I had no problem picking up because ‘new moment, new everything’ in Mandyland.

I was happy to start again.

But she was still there; not here.

So I ended that call, too.

*sends a cheeky new invoice*

Because that is the work I do.

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Stuck Together (An Essay)

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if the only thing keeping you together is your unnatural attachment to one another

(and all attachment is unnatural)

made possible only through the sticky and accumulated shit you both have brought to the relationship table

things like your respective and shared pasts

your so-called traumas

your personal needs and desires

your ongoing focus on yourself and the other

then you’re not yet truly together

because of all that shit in the way

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Sanna On The Swampy Feminine (A Transcript)

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From one of Sanna’s lives:

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The swampy feminine, which is in every single one of us, is not personal, although most people take it personally.

It’s an energy programming that we program ourselves with from a very young age to keep the world safe from ourselves.

It is a surge protector between the world and our true potency.

It is the part of us that we literally create to make ourselves fit in to the world because without that programming, without the illusion, and without us believing in the illusion that we create, we would be too powerful for the world right from the start.

We would be rejected.

We would be cast out.

We would be abandoned.

People would collapse in our presence.

And we create our own swampy feminine to feel safe for others, to feel approachable for others, to create the illusion that we fit in.

It’s a mask.

It’s the ultimate mask.

And everybody creates it in some form or another.

The thing with the people who have a very potent High Feminine, is that we have to create more illusion.

It has to be stronger than other people’s.

It has to be more extreme than other people’s.

Because the power is more extreme and more potent.

And then we go out into the world thinking that we are like the rest of the world, believing in the illusion, until we start peeling that mask off.

And then at some point the veil has lifted enough for us to see that actually it’s not who we are.

We’ve never been that way.

From the beginning.

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Obliteration Dance (An Essay)

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I chose him precisely because of the density.

The grit.

For the perceived dysfunction that would highlight my own so I could erect what had long been limp.

I used him to purify myself.

To be stripped even further.

To stay until nothing was left.

From the outside, it looked insane.

And to my human, it felt like hell.

But obliteration was what I was after.

Why else would I have danced right there.

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